The Original Post
Update I am going to talk to my SIL. i will go if it includes an apology if it doesn’t I am not going
I am not going… I talked to her and she apologized and told me I can bring my food (that was fin) and then told me she would still like me to try her food. I told her I can’t again and she said I was just need to try more food . She’s acting like I am being picky. I can’t fucking eat it without throwing up
im not fucking going.
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I don’t want to be in the company of someone that thinks I made some shit up and be called picky for a medical issue
I don’t, I have lived my whole life dealing with people thinking I am just being a pain in the ass
So yeah I don’t want to go to dinner with someone that called my medical issue me being picky
everyone asking, I eat different types of beef dishes usually. meatloaf, meatballs, meat pies and so on. Rice is also good but I need to eat it with something not alone.
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I have ARFID, there are a lot of textures/flavors of food that will make my physically sick if I put them in my mouth. It has been an issue for as long as I can remember. My main safe food is plain beef and rice.
Usually for an event I just bring my own safe food and no one has any problems with it. My brother has recently gotten married to Jenna and she is vegetarian.
She invited the whole family to come over for dinner and not to worry about bringing anything. I texted her to ask what was going to be made and it is nothing I could eat. She was going to make eggplant Parmesan and pasta.
I told her that I wouldn’t be able to eat that ( she knows I have AFRID) and I can just bring my beef and rice. She told me absolutely not and I should just eat what she serves. I told her I literally can’t and she said I was just being picky.
I decided not to go and I told her that. I was upset so I told my mom about it and it spread tot he rest of the family form there. Multiple people are refusing to go to dinner.
Jenna is upset ( I haven’t talked to her tho she did call once) and my brother is telling me I can bring my beef and rice but I am still refusing to go. It’s more the principle of the whole thing at this point
What Reddit Said
Initially, Redditors sympathized with OP’s medical condition. Many understood his frustration when his sister-in-law dismissed ARFID as being “picky.” However, the tide turned dramatically when OP’s brother offered a compromise.
The top comments overwhelmingly called OP out for continuing the conflict unnecessarily. Users pointed out that he got exactly what he wanted – permission to bring his safe foods. Moreover, they accused him of enjoying the family drama and being punitive rather than solution-focused.
The Verdict
The final consensus: YTA (You’re the Asshole). While Reddit initially supported OP’s stance regarding his vegetarian sister in law ARFID accommodation, they turned against him for refusing the offered solution. This became a classic case of family conflict where standing on principle crossed into stubborn territory. The community felt OP weaponized his family against his new sister-in-law instead of accepting the relationship repair attempt.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (1,642 upvotes, 1,563 comments)