Woman Refusing In Laws Care Gets Family Drama Backlash
A 37-year-old woman is refusing in laws care after her husband’s brothers demanded she become their parents’ full-time caregiver. The drama started when her elderly in-laws could no longer live alone. Her brothers-in-law called a family meeting with a shocking proposal.
The woman has been married for 10 years with two children. Her husband has two brothers, Henry and Frank. Both brothers are married with kids. Their parents now need constant care and supervision.
Henry and Frank had already made their decision. They wanted their sister-in-law to take in the elderly parents. Their reasoning seemed logical on the surface. She owns the biggest house with an in-law apartment. She has nursing experience and stays home with her kids.
The Brothers Make Their Demands
The family meeting revealed the brothers’ true expectations. They assumed she would quit her part-time nursing work. She would become a full-time unpaid caregiver. Meanwhile, their own wives would keep working outside the home.
The woman works one weekend per month to keep her license current. She plans to return to nursing full-time when her children are older. Her nursing background made her the obvious choice in their minds.
But there’s a major problem they ignored completely. The mother-in-law has never been kind to her daughter-in-law. Their relationship is so toxic that visits happen only twice yearly. She doesn’t want her children witnessing the grandmother’s cruel behavior.
She suggested nursing homes or assisted living facilities instead. The brothers shot down these options immediately. They claimed the costs were too high for their budgets.
Refusing In Laws Care Causes Family Rift
She stood firm in refusing in laws care arrangements. One of the brothers would need to accommodate their parents instead. The brothers protested that their wives couldn’t quit working. They claimed financial survival depended on dual incomes.
She apologized but remained unmoved by their arguments. She offered phone consultations for caregiving questions. However, hands-on care was completely off the table. Her husband supports her decision but thinks she was harsh.
The brothers-in-law stopped speaking to the couple entirely. They accused her of being selfish and inconsiderate. According to them, she’s putting the whole family in an impossible situation.
Reddit users overwhelmingly supported her decision with thousands of upvotes. One popular comment highlighted the exploitation involved. The brothers expected hundreds of thousands of dollars in free labor. They wanted her valuable nursing education used without compensation.
The Real Issue Everyone’s Missing
Another commenter praised her “shiny spine” for standing up. They pointed out she already has a full-time job. Being a stay-at-home parent is unpaid but demanding work.
The gender assumptions in this family drama are telling. All three brothers automatically assumed women would sacrifice their careers. None considered that the sons should provide care themselves.
The commenters suggested a perfect solution. If the parents move in, the husband should quit his job. He could become the full-time caregiver while she returns to nursing. This suggestion would likely change his tune quickly.
The situation highlights common entitled people behavior. The brothers feel entitled to her time, skills, and home. They dismiss her autonomy and career aspirations completely.
Her decision to keep refusing in laws care makes perfect sense. Why sacrifice her mental health for people who treat her poorly? The brothers created this problem by assuming rather than asking.
The woman’s boundaries are reasonable and necessary. She shouldn’t have to endure daily abuse from her mother-in-law. Her children shouldn’t witness toxic behavior from their grandmother. These relationship drama situations require firm boundaries.
The brothers need to find alternative solutions. They could pool resources for professional care. One of them could reduce work hours instead. They could take turns providing care in their own homes.
This story shows why clear communication matters in families. The brothers made assumptions instead of having honest conversations. Now they’re angry because their free labor plan failed. Sometimes refusing unreasonable demands is the only healthy choice.
From r/AmItheAsshole (3,303 upvotes)